Alex,
This is the best joke I've seen in awhile.
----------
From: "TwistedHumor.com" <todays_joke@lists.twistedhumor.com>
To: subscribers@twistedhumor.com
Subject: TwistedHumor.com Funnies of the Day   August 30, 1999
Date: Mon, Aug 30, 1999, 11:43 AM
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TwistedHumor.com Funnies of the Day   August 30, 1999

QUICKIES

This one isn't so quick, but it is humorous. I am sure you have all received
those emails to forward to all of your friends for good luck... blah, blah,
blah. Well, this guy apparently got tired of them and his email has been
circulating now. Must have had a bad day, this guy....

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding
out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas
with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it
removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak how.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? "Ooooh, lookyhere! If I
scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model
in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a
big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than
to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter
leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to
this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the
year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest
continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you're going to forward
something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the
"send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for
a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being"
forwards about 90 times. I don't care. Show a little intelligence and think
about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances
are it's your own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain
letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of
your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been
tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per
letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like
Miranda. Right? Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow
morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

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