Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda." I certainly hope it will assist all of you so that you will be prepared:
The Homosexual Agenda:
6:00 AM: Gym
8:00 AM: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)
9:00 AM: Hair appointment
10:00 AM: Shopping (preferably at Nordstrom's or Saks)
12:00 PM: Brunch
2:00 PM: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and
local governments, as well as all other forms of world government,
destroy all healthy marriages, replace all school counselors in
grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
bulldoze all houses of worship, secure total control of the
INTERNET and all mass media
2:15 PM: Be fabulous
2:30 PM: Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial
wrinkles from the stress of world conquest
4:00 PM: Cocktails
6:00 PM: Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio,
arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and PouillyFuisse)
8:00 PM: Theater
10:30 PM: "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"
(thanks to: Ann)