RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
calories.
2. If you drink diet soda with candy bars, the calories
in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count
as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes never counts, such
as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up the people around you, then you look
thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have additional calories
because they are part of the entire entertainment package
and are not part of one's own personal intake. (Examples
are Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots
and Tootsie Rolls.)
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of eating
broken cookies causes caloric leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories
if you are in the process of preparing something. (Examples
are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich or
ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.)
NOTE: Chocolate is a universal substitute and may be used
in place of any other food.
