Well,
hi, it's me, C.Bear! I know, it's been a long time. It’s been a
long year, and we’re not done with it yet. Some of it was scary.
From where I sit, here on my windowsill, some of it was sad, and
you can’t always make the sad things go away. But this was the
year when everything happened at once.
And then we moved. There we were, and here we are. We Bears
still need some more time to figure it all out. There are some
things even me and T.Bear and A.Bear can’t fix, but we think
everything else is mostly going to be OK again.
First it was the phone calls back East. Alex said that his cousin
Sandy was sick. We were going back to Virginia.
Then we got those calls from Bob's doctors. They said he had
to come in for an operation after we got back from our trip.
And then we got the call from the Landlord. He said they were
selling our house and we had to get out. But we couldn't. Well,
we knew that Bob would be in the hospital and then have to rest
for a long time. I don’t know what they said, but the landlord
stopped bothering us.
And all that happened just so fast.
Virginia
Me
and T.Bear, and Junior, and Bob and Alex flew back to Virginia
to visit. Everybody seemed fine and they were glad to see us.
Emily let us visit with her Bears, big ol' Hoffi and his gang.
And Bob and Alex drove with Sandy and Emily to see places like
Colonial Williamsburg, and eat out, and everybody had a good
time. They even got new little brothers for us, Hastings, Hayden
and Radcliffe!
What I remember most about sitting out on their back porch is,
their yard was filled with friendly critters. There were Mr.
Squirrels, two kinds, red and gray. And there were birds, different
ones of red and black, and "blue birds" that were really
blue, and birds with bright yellow. They would all hop around
and take turns on the bird feeder. Boy, could they sing!
And mostly, the people would laugh about how the big birds would
chase the squirrel away, and then the squirrel would steal their
food, and then they would chase him away again. But sometimes
the people would get real quiet.
They sat out on the back porch and had long, hushed talks that
we couldn't hear. And then we all hugged good-bye, and I think
everybody wanted to cry, us Bears included, but we didn't. They
didn't either. You can never say good-bye forever. As long as
there are Bears, there is hope.
The Hospital Month
Then, it was Bob’s turn to be sick. Alex took him in for his
operation as soon as we got home. Everybody said it was "good
news". Me and T.Bear would come to the hospital to visit.
At first, people would forget about T.Bear and me. We got tucked
in a corner of the hospital room. But most of the nurses were
nice to us. We said our little Bear prayers again.
Alex was there for long spells at a time and one time I came
with him and watched him from my corner of the hospital room.
All he did is watch the computer screens in the room because
all Bob could do is sleep. We know what computer screens are,
but not like this. It was cold and dark in there, and the room
sounded like them underwater submarines you see on TV. PING!
PING! I didn't like that. But we were with our Bob, and that's
what counts.
I didn’t know what all them screens of theirs were, and I don’t
need to. If A.Bear knew, he wasn't saying. I could tell all I
needed to know by watching Alex. It seemed like we just floated
from one worry to the next. Time didn’t mean anything any more.
We were worried for Bob.
But then things got better.
What I liked best was how friendly most of the people there
were to Bob and Alex. They would rush into the room and ask how
are we feeling today, and smile and arrange things and fool with
their clocks and dials and wires and stuff. But sometimes they
would just stay and talk. People should spend more time talking
like real people, if you ask me.
When
people get ready to leave a place they always fill it with flowers,
and we liked that, and soon after that, it was time to go home.
Then they bring the flowers home with them, and Bob got to see
all us fellers again.
And Alex stayed home for a while, every day, and he cooked,
too. We hear he's a pretty good cook. You could of knocked us
over with a feather.
Soon enough, Bob could walk around more. They would go for little
walks outside, and we would all wait for them and cheer when
they got back. We are so glad to have Bob back. Sure, Alex was
fun to have around when he wasn't at the hospital, but the two
of them together are great. That’s when we Bears have the most
fun of all.
We Bears may be very clever, but this time we were just very
lucky. And we know that.
Looking For A Place To Live
Next they started driving around, "looking for a place
for us to live", and that was scary. Only a few of us had
ever known any other home. It didn’t help that Bob and Alex would
joke about what would we do with the Bears if we didn’t have
room at the New Place. Then they would sit back and watch the
little Bears and the newer fellers look at each other in horror.
And then they would laugh, and say they were just teasing.
And they started drawing little drawings to figure out where
things would go, and that's when we found out some of us were
going to Phoenix. They told us we would have to decide!
Next thing we knew, we were driving down to Phoenix with a whole
Bear Basket full of "Arizona Volunteers".
We brought with us - by now you should know most of these guys
- AZ Bear, Blackie, Bo Bear, Chicago Bear, Happy, Johnnie
Walker, L.Bear, LF Bear, LG&E Bear, Mischa and Russki, Royal,
SunBear, Trevor, Val and Tiny, Harry, and Fraser.
We picked Bears that had been around a long time. They need
to be able help my brother Phoenix Bear lead that pack down there.
It didn't seem fair to take new Bears that hadn't been through
all their training with A.Bear yet, you know. Bob and Alex brought
a few things they put into the car, but not a lot because Alex
explained they were going to leave the real moving to "The
Movers".
Harry and Frazer have been around forever, maybe as long as
me. We all started out in the Pile For Unwanted Bears, but I
got out first because I wasn't so big. Harry comes from some
place called Harrod’s over in England. I forget where Fraser
comes from. But they got their own Bear Basket in Phoenix now.
We got no more Bears in the Pile For Unwanted Bears. But there
is a Sylvester the Cat, and a couple of beat up old Garfields,
and that Mickey Mouse feller, and a bunny, and a stuffed dog
with a mopey look. They’re our friends, but I ain't never going
back to that pile.
This was my first drive down to Phoenix that I can remember,
anyway. Even Bob and Alex couldn't remember who went down on
the drive in 1991. G.Bear, our "Pops", they thought,
maybe. Anyway, Alex drove all the way because Bob was still mending.
I liked seeing the desert. I saw more Cactipusses than I ever
seen before, but they don't scare me none any more. If you pretend
they can't see you, they won't even bother you.
We
stayed in Phoenix a while and Bob swam in the pool, and it was
good for him. We Bears could see things were starting to look
up. Those two laughed together, and they went out to dinner with
friends like in the old days. But we Bears had introductions
to make, and pillow sliding, and plenty else to do anyway.
And the new fellers got to go Rafting.
On the drive home they talked more about "The Movers" again.
We found out some of our furniture would go to the new place,
and some would go to the old place, and some wouldn't go any
place at all.
There's Always Room For Bears
“But, what about us?” When we asked, all they would say is, "There's
always room for Bears."
When we got back, there was a package waiting for us from Sandy
and Emily. I mean, well, it was sent to Alex and Bob, but it
was for all of us: a new little Bear, a handmade little fellow
from the back woods of Maine. We named him "Lamont".
Packers and Movers
Alex and Bob packed and packed, and re-packed and packed again,
and we have no idea where all that stuff came from. Not from
our house, you wouldn't think.
If you go by Bear years, I think me and Wilson have been around
the longest, for the crowd still up North anyways. I don't remember
ever seeing a lot of that stuff. Wilson muttered something about "paying
the piper", but Wilson never explains anything.
They ran out of boxes and, just in time, the Packers arrived.
Now it got REALLY scary. They had loud voices and they didn't
seem to care too much for us Bears. Stuff started disappearing
into boxes faster than you can count. And it didn't look like
our home any more. Pictures, and books, even food - everything
- gone! It echoed in there.
We Bears still had our bed, but we were ascared. Bob and Alex
were working day and night "to get ahead of The Movers".
You could see they were really tired, and it seemed harder for
them to smile. But they kept saying, "we'll get through
this".
If you thought The Packers were scary, you should have seen
The Movers. They were young and kinda friendly, and they moved
fast. "This stuff goes to Castro Valley", Alex said, "and
that stuff stays for the move to Phoenix on Monday." They
emptied out half the house in two hours.
“But what about us?”
The Movers asked about us Bears, which was nice I guess, and
Bob and Alex said, "We take the Bears."
But the movers still kept fast-talking. Soon they had all of
us stuffed into a great big tall box for clothes like you hang
in the closet, and it was dark in there. Oh, no! Soon enough
we heard Bob and Alex say, "Well, OK, this should be all
right. You can take them to Castro Valley."
And we heard the "squeak squeak" of their marker pens
writing something on the box. Then A.Bear said, "I don't
like this, at all."
But they didn’t listen to us. And before you know it, we heard
the house being closed up, and the door shut, and we were sitting
alone in a dark box. And there we sat, and sat, and sat.
A.Bear whispered to me on the Bear Channel, "something
has gone wrong!” but everybody heard him. Some of the younger
Bears started whimpering. It was all we could do to keep everybody
quieted down. Inside, we knew A.Bear was right. We could be kidnapped,
or shipped to San Antonio like L.Bear, or worse, we could be
lost!
The way we heard it later, The Movers were just about done unloading
at the Castro Valley place, when Alex asks, "So, where on
this truck are the Bears?"
The movers thought we were supposed to go to Phoenix. They said
something about how there "must have been a misunderstanding".
I just can't think of anything nice to say about that at all..
And then we were rescued. Alex drove back across the bridge,
and took us all out of that awful box, and called Bob to say, "they're
here, and they're all safe", and that’s how we were driven
over to our new home.
And we like it here, too.
Sandy Lamont
But then the next phone call came. Alex's cousin Sandy, well,
um, Sandy had died at home in Virginia, they said. There
is no way any of us were ready for that. No one said anything
for a long time.
I don’t know. He can’t be gone, can he? I can feel him here,
all the time. But this is that thing that A.Bear says us Bears
can’t do anything about, and that if we were to go back East
again, he wouldn’t be there any more. I still don’t understand
it. But I know how the humans feel. I miss Sandy. Poor Emily!
Alex said he believes a part of each of us lives inside everyone
we've ever been close to. A.Bear told me that this is true.
The laughs that you people share, and the good times and the
bad that you work on together, these are the things that make
you people, and you have your way of making these things a part
of all of the people who share them with you. I can tell you
myself that Sandy was good people. If it would help any, I can
see that he lives on.
We think good thoughts and memories for Sandy every day. A.Bear
says this brings some warmth to matters that Bears and people
in most ways never really understand.
And yet not even a Bear can make time stand still when it should.
We picked up a thing here, and moved a box there, and we Bears
found places for ourselves on the bed.
Movers Again
The
Movers came back to San Mateo again, the same way the squirrels
come back to the planter boxes to dig up the last bulb. This
time, it was to get the Phoenix stuff. They emptied the house
clean, and we are glad we stayed here and did not see that. No
Bears aboard that truck!
We loaded the car and chased down to Phoenix to do it all over
again. T.Bear and me, we seen it all. It even rained as soon
as the truck got there! But we were glad to get our stuff back.
In five days Bob and Alex had the whole place tidy. There was
even room left over for us to visit brother Phoenix Bear and
his gang and our new Volunteers. We were pretty happy about that,
anyway.
Home in Castro Valley
It is all over with now, this whole business. We are back here,
in this Castro Valley, and Bob and Alex have been working to
put things “where they belong”. They started calling it “home”.
We LIKED that!
Like I said, we like it here. I found my own spot on the windowsill
where I can just sit and look. It's pretty here, too, and the
people outside laugh and smile and say hello to each other. We
never saw any of that there. What we called home, it just turned
its back on us and went its own way. This is home now, because
we're here. If I have anything to say about it, we plan to stay.
We got squirrels here too, red squirrels, and they drink out
of the pool, down below. The kids don't scare ‘em; they just
keep 'em wary. Not a lot of birds that I can tell, but plenty
of big tall trees if the birds would just want to come and visit.
I look out from my window, and I can see the big trees waving
in the breeze. The sky is clear and clean here. We got our noises
from the street, but it's a ways off. Alex says he can hear the
sound of the seashore in it. I ain't never been to no seashore,
so you'll just have to take his word on that.
Not to complain, but now it's over with, I can tell you what
I don't miss: that airport, where we used to be. Every night,
after they turn out the lights, that one big airplane would take
off for someplace or other in Australia, where they got them
koalas that look like Pink Bear except their fur isn't pink,
silly. Those planes sounded just like them Space Shuttle launches
we seen on the TV, only louder.
Now that things have kind of settled down, Bob and Alex are
playing those games with us again to see how much they can trick
us into helping them with their chores. “Maybe C.Bear can help
wash the dishes, now that we’re no longer in San Mateo.” And
Bob will laugh and agree, and then they watch us to see what
we do.
I checked with A.Bear just to make sure. Bear Union rules are
good anywhere. What is the good of a rule if you have to get
your paws wet? So, the contract says, no dishes. But, I like
to help Alex fold laundry once in a while, just to make those
guys feel good. The shop steward has to stay on the good side
of management, except in case of strike, and we don't want any
of them!
Figuring It All Out
You can’t do it all. Even if you’re a Bear and have plenty of
time, it never all comes to you, you know. What we do about it
is, well, we just keep wondering, and some of the pieces come,
and some just don’t.
There are a lot of things I don't know about, even for a Bear
of my years. I don't know how I can sit on my windowsill and
tell you so much about things we still don't understand.
But I do know this. If you get the right place to sit, you can
see the hills off far. They're kind of goldy brown right now.
They are rounded and gentle hills, and pretty. I like them almost
best of all, besides you guys and the rest of the fellers. Alex
says they turn really, really green in the spring. I wish they
could be green all the time. From what I can see, life gives
us everything, first the good, then some bad, and then some good
again.
We
will always miss Alex’s cousin Sandy, and we feel bad for Emily.
I wish there was something we could say or do. Now, I just hope
we already did that when we still had him with us. I don’t know
if Sandy ever read our Stories, but I listened to them in their
long talks, more than they would guess. I think Sandy already
knew all about what I was trying to say, that’s what I think.
We send Bear messages to Hoffi, and he’s passing them on to
Emily. Alex phones and writes, but a Bear Message is the next
best thing to being there.
I like this place, and I like my windowsill. Who knows, one
of these days I might ask if they'd take me up in the hills and
let me just sit and look back on all this for a while. But first,
we got to get organized. The new Bears need to get back on track
on their lessons, and even us senior Bears slacked off some after
all the troubles and changes. It’s tough getting things back
to normal; I know it is. But we’ll get there.

| There are those that
say the hills have died when they turn brown for the summer.
They have not yet hiked there, nor looked at the ripened
waving grains of grass when they ripple in the wind. They
have not seen the airborne cottonwood fluff waft from valley
to valley, nor the acorns that fall to the grown and then
sprout new life in the spring. The smell of the dried earth
and parched grasses in a hot summer breeze is rich with the
smell of life in midcycle, and here, the shadow of the oak
grove cools the air and brings comfort when they say that
the hills have died. |
© Alex Forbes,
September 26, 2000
|